Dreams (and not the Goals kind)

It's been a tiring week after the SF Half Marathon. I did 3 recovery runs from Monday through Wednesday, but I did strides at the end of Wednesday's recovery run and everything felt very tight and uncomfortable instead of loose. Thursday I did a tempo run and it took all I had just to run 4 miles at my tempo pace. I just PHYSICALLY wasn't feeling good. I knew I was not yet recovered from the half.

So I told Miguel and God bless him, he said, "DO NOT push the pace if you feel tight. Just run your miles at easy pace and if you throw in a strider and things feel tight, immediately stop and go back to easy paced running. We don't want you injured before we start marathon training September 1." So I did an easy run on Friday and Saturday and today I'm going to do a 12 miler and if I feel good after the first pick up (fartlek), I'll keep proceeding with the run as planned... fartlek in the middle and then progressively faster for the last 4 miles, ending at a 6:40 pace. If I feel tightness in my hamstring insertion points (or sit bones), I'll keep it at easy pace.

Anyway, on to DREAMS. I had such sad dreams last night that the crying in my sleep woke me up. :( The first dream was about how my oldest son was exposed to anthrax, of all things! And I was too, but somehow it did not make me ill, but I was rushing around trying to tell my family so that I could get back to my son and be with him. But all my siblings and their families were busy preparing for a trip with my parents and I couldn't get them to sit still and listen and I kept yelling louder and louder, "Come ON! Come ON! Come ON!" I kept trying to get them to listen and I was crying so hard because I just wanted to get back to my son and I never did get to tell them because the crying woke me up.

When I woke up I looked around the room and thanked God it was just a dream.

The next dream was about me driving a bunch of women around in my car with my toddler and daughter on their laps. The women kept saying that my son was anemic and that he had "that look." ??? I looked at my son and he looked really, really pale, but he was still smiling and playing. Then my husband was in the car (all of the sudden) and he said, "Just park here and I'll be right back." So I parked the car at the stop sign in the middle of the road like he said. A driver came up behind me and yelled at me to move my car and I said I couldn't. He then got on his car radio (like in a police squad car) and said, "Send patrol over." Oops! I still didn't move my car for a minute or so.

Then I finally moved the car across the intersection which turned out to be the city where I work. I thought I'd better get out and look for my husband. I left the women and my kids in the car and just got out and started walking, barefoot. My feet were getting wet. I started yelling my husband's name over and over. And I saw many cops that I work with also yelling his name over and over. I kept walking, aimlessly, through town, barefoot, yelling his name. And the cops kept repeating it. There were hundreds of other people walking around but I did not recognize their faces and they were all wearing dark clothing.

As I kept walking, the scene in my dream changed back to my room where I was asleep and then I heard my husband say quietly, "Here I am, here I am." And in my dream I woke up and told him I had a bad dream and he said, "Yes, your left shoulder is bleeding (and in my dream it was cut and bleeding) and you did something so weird." I said, "What did I do?" He said, "You licked your feet!" In my dream I was grossed out, and then I said, "In my dream I was walking barefoot around the city looking for you, and my feet felt wet." And then he said, "We need to take care of this cut." And then I actually woke up. So it was weird, but I was having a dream within a dream! I've only done that once or twice before.

I looked over at my husband who was zonked out and I went back to sleep, praying that I'd have no more bad dreams. The alarm went off at 0500 and I told myself, "I'm not running until the baby's nap time." And turned the alarm off and crashed out until 0730.

I actually feel kind of disturbed and a little saddened by my dreams, although I know they are not real. I also feel tired and a little run down. I think it's because I worked yesterday and being outside in the sun in full uniform (roasting) just tuckered me out. And I did have lots of jalapenos with dinner last night... I bet the spicy food made me have funky dreams!