Fear and Anxiety suck

You know what, I'm actually afraid to run. It's definitely a psychological thing now and I feel anxious about it. I'm afraid to run because I'm afraid of continuing to fail/slow down/quit mid workout, etc. And I'm afraid of completely wrecking my tendon.

It has been 5 business days and I still have not been able to get the MRI that the sports doctor ordered, (I'm praying for this week).

My coach told me to take Friday, Saturday and today completely off of ANY physical exercise (so no cross training either). I ran on Thursday the 16th and it was depressing. It was supposed to be a long tempo run and I literally had to take :30 after each mile to regain composure and catch my breath. I hit the tempo pace up until mile 6 (and that was nice), but then I deteriorated from there to mile 9, and then just stopped and jogged. I was supposed to do a 12 mile progressive tempo. Oh well. I managed to run 12 miles that day instead of the 15.5 I was supposed to do.

I'm wearing an ankle wrap all the time and babying my right foot/ankle. I think I'm ruined mentally for running and I don't know how to overcome it. Do you have ANY, ANY pointers at all? Help!!!

I want to run but am also fearful of doing worse damage to the tendon in question. Just based on the doctor's examination, he said, "When we see the MRI, it's probably not going to make you happy." I hope he's wrong.

Miguel (my coach) is awesome and really trying to not let me get too discouraged. He shares stories of many talented runners who have suffered through very serious injuries and after time off, came back even stronger. I just hope I get some confidence back somewhere along the way.

So for now, that's where I am in training. The CIM is completely up in the air at this point. My heart wants to run and run hard... but my mind is playing games and it has definitely affected my physical running ability. Don't let this happen to you!!! Sorry to unload. I just had to vent to somebody.

Surround yourself with positive things, positive running images. Take a day or two off if you think it will help you. Think positively all the time! Remember how strong you really are and how much you like to race and train.