Oh this might be a long entry, but I'm feeling a little sad. I moved to this sweet little town in 2004 and I love it. It's peaceful and pretty safe and a good place to raise a family. My husband grew up here. But I left behind some dear friends (who thankfully still include me in their lives) and the full time job that I truly love.
I don't regret moving here, I don't regret my decision to stay home with the kids and work only part time hours. I'm just a little melancholy. It's been hard to make close friends of my own, like the ones I had where I used to live. I've made a few here, but not the kinds I feel I can really be myself with. I thought that changed a few months ago when I met and began running with a few of the gals from the running club.
Just when I started to feel really comfortable with them, like with my other friends from my old town, things are falling by the wayside. I was training with them and it was great. But now they are training faster and faster for every workout and I just can't keep up. It's okay to finish behind them (I always have), but sometimes doing so just makes me doubt myself as a runner. And when I try to keep up, I get injured. So it's either risk more injury, or train on my own.
I have to just train alone...again. :( I did it for my last 3 marathons, and I can do it for this one. I'm just going to miss the camaraderie I shared with these women.
I'm discouraged because I wonder if I'll ever really feel AT HOME here. I wonder if I'll ever really make lifelong friendships here. My husband is so sweet, and he listened to me as I talked about this. And he said he was sorry and I KNOW he meant it. But it's not his fault and I don't regret the life decisions I've made. I just hope to feel really happy here someday, with my own friends and not ones I've made through my husband. Thanks for reading.
Managing Hydration When You Are a Runner
5 years ago
10 comments:
Just remember that your MOMS will always love you too!
Thanks Amber! :)
GB - you must be training with some real speedsters if they're managing to drop you in training runs. Sheesh!
Your running's looking great! Hang in there, and if you ever need to vent on running, we're always around or RW or elsewhere.
Thanks for the support & inspiration - I'll be following along awaiting your nailing of that 3:10 (!!)
Oh GB how could you doubt your running. You do so well. Thats how I felt when I started with my track group. I was just so happy to be apart of the group and be included but I could never keep up with any of them. I was the slowest one in the slow group. believe me you would have been one of the fastest ones. I always trail behind if I was lucky. It was always better to trail behind than not trail at all. I miss my group haven't been for a while because of other reasons, not because I was slow, I just felt great to be a part of a group that had some of the best runners in the area. When I finally go back, I know I'll get alot of welcome back. I think its ok to trail at least you have something to focus on. I'm a loner too, but I think its much more fun to run with a group even if I trail.
I'm a lurker who enjoys reading your blog. Your post today really struck me. It sounds like the idea of training alone makes you sad so I encourage to stick with the group, even if you feel like you're lagging behind. And who knows, over time, that group may pick up some new members who run your pace (which is really fast and very impressive by the way!). My running group has sort of fallen apart over the past year (everyone moving separate directions) so I end up running a lot on my own. I really miss the camaraderie of a group and I think you might too.
Just my .02.
MJ
Normal feelings GB u have especially when u move from an area with a bunch of friends...I have made that move a few times in my life...keep the spirits up, I train mostly alone but I guess u can mix it up.
God Bless!
also remember you've got all your virtual training partners here...i love seeing what your workouts are like and you always inspire me to set my own bar higher.
I have to run alone too... (pushing the kiddos in the jogger doesn't count) so I know exactly how you feel. We moved to Central Oregon in 2003 and I while I made many friends quickly, I've also learned that many were pseudo-friends. I actually regret having invested so much in some of those relationships. I got burned. Now I am more careful.
Making the decision to homeschool, I knew would close the door to some friendships as well. I would love to run with one of the local running groups but it just doesn't happen due to DHs work and childcare conflicts.
Running with others is huge and very valuable. I think you should continue to run with them even if you finish slightly behind. Not only do they provide friendship and comraderie, but a little motivation as well.
{{{ Hugs }}}
I think we have all felt like this at one time or another. Its really hard when you get separated from a close group of girlfirends. Same thing happened to me after grad school and we all moved around the country. Its hard to make new women friends....we can be really petty and judgemental at times :) Stick it out with your current running group...sounds like you aren't too far off their pace and they will help push you. If it makes you feel any better you can run with me and you'll kick my butt!
Hang in there and think about all the positives you have in your life. This cold will pass (I sure hope mine does!) and you will be back to your normal paces.
Hi, I'm new to your site...found you on RW. Love your blog. I'm kind of experiencing this same issue right now. During the winter, I run alone, but I'm already dreading summer because here in AZ you have to run at 5a.m to beat the heat, but it's dark. So you have to run with someone or a group. Which right now, I have none. I'm desperately searching for a local group- but they are hard to come by. Just know- we all feel alone time to time. Thank goodness for WWW! Hang in there!
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